Workdays started today. The principal had us all wear college or pro teams jerseys to drive home the point that we are a team and must work as a team to succeed this year. I think I'm really going to like her as a leader. She seems very straightforward and far, but also very much on top of her game. And I got to meet most of the people in the English Department today. turns out Lucy, Kate and I aren't the only new people in English. About half of the department has changed and everyone in English 1 is new, except for one person. He was really helpful today in getting us acquainted with the system and procedures. Everyone was really helpful. I think I'm going to like the people in the English Department. Not that I thought I wouldn't like them, but you get what I mean.
I saw my classroom today. In my mind, I've had this vision of my room since January. Its perfectly clean, with freshly painted white walls and several bulletin boards around the room. There are filing cabinets, bookshelves and one of the really nice desks that my teachers had when I was in grammar school. Sometimes, there is even a smartboard (although I don't really know how to work them). In my mind, I'm directly across the hall from my friend Kate and we're in an entirely English wing of the building.This vision is not my reality.
In reality, my classroom is a mobile trailer set up outside of the main building. Kate got a pretty classroom inside the building and Lucy, the other TFA corps member teaching English 1, got the room directly across the hall from her. There is an English wing, kind of, but I'm not in it. In the real world, my classroom is painted three different colors--blue, pale green and bight, hurt your eyes bright, florescent yellow. The previous teacher hasn't moved his/her things out yet, even though they were supposed to have done that by today. And I couldn't find the person anywhere, so the boxes and piles are still sitting there. The filing cabinets are either locked or filled with this person's things. There is one bulletin board and two small-ish white boards. If I remember correctly, I have a screen that pulls down and I think there is an overhead projector. I haven't seen one of those since I was 12. I have a desk, but one of the legs is all bent out and quasi-broken. The desk is standing though, so I guess its all about the small victories.
Still, I'm certain that one this other persons things are gone and I have a chance to really start setting up, I'll be able to make it into a great place. I've got ideas for posters and signs and a sense of how i want to arrange things. And maybe next semester I'll paint one of those yellow walls a different color. And I'm not out there in the trailerhood all by my lonesome. At least one other English teacher is in the room next to me. She teaches English 2 and has been super nice and helpful. So i'm excited about that. And, being outside of the main building, there are less distractions from inside, with all of the drama and craziness that can happen in the hallways. Still, I kind of wish I was inside. I think i'm the only corps member who is outside in a trailer. I'm afraid I'll be slightly disconnected from everyone. It just means I'm going to have to make an even greater effort to stay in the loop. Cause thats something I'm so great at doing to begin with (if you could hear my voice, you'd find it dripping with sarcasm).
I'm sure in the end, it will all work out. Like I've said before, I'm trying out this whole, go with the flow, roll with the punches, be flexible and open minded kind of attitude. Hopefully it works out for me.
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Thursday, August 5, 2010
New Teacher Orientation
Today was the new teacher orientation at my school. It was so exciting to actually get in the school and start to try and learn your way around (the school is huuuuuge, with 6 different wings). We didn't get to see our classrooms yet, but only because the principal forgot the list at home. If we call up on Monday we'll be able to get it. It's all just gotten that much more real.
There are 14 incoming corps members at the school and about 25 new teachers total. Its great to be there with so many other corps members. The principal and several of the administrators were there to introduce themselves and go over things. One of the assistant principals is a former corps member, which is really awesome. You could hear the TFA lingo in the way she spoke. It wasn't as clear as with the people who still work for TFA, but the phrasing and word choice were definitely there at some points. I found that to be mildly amusing.
The principal, Dr. V, seemed really great. Very enthusiastic and eager to get students on track. The only deal breaker.... she's a self-proclaimed, die-hard Duke fan. Anyone who knows me well knows that I loathe Duke. Seriously, I can't stand them. My whole family can't. Next week, my mom and my sister are driving from Charlotte to NJ and stopping to see schools. My mom literally said to me yesterday, "well, we're going to go to Chapel Hill because your sister wants to look at UNC. And then we're going to go drive through Duke and laugh at people". I guess I'll have to bite my tongue and not mention my loyalty to the Tar Heels for the next two years.
We spent the afternoon going through the teacher evaluation process, learning about the culture of the school and getting a tour from the executive board of the student council. Actually getting to meet some of the students was amazing. I know these are the students who are already involved, dedicated and invested but it was still amazing to see how much these kids loved their school and were really looking to be challenged. One girl even told me she wants to go to George Washington University in DC. Squeal!!
It was all a little overwhelming, but it seems like the administration is going to be really great and helpful. I'm starting to get really pumped for the school year.
There are 14 incoming corps members at the school and about 25 new teachers total. Its great to be there with so many other corps members. The principal and several of the administrators were there to introduce themselves and go over things. One of the assistant principals is a former corps member, which is really awesome. You could hear the TFA lingo in the way she spoke. It wasn't as clear as with the people who still work for TFA, but the phrasing and word choice were definitely there at some points. I found that to be mildly amusing.
The principal, Dr. V, seemed really great. Very enthusiastic and eager to get students on track. The only deal breaker.... she's a self-proclaimed, die-hard Duke fan. Anyone who knows me well knows that I loathe Duke. Seriously, I can't stand them. My whole family can't. Next week, my mom and my sister are driving from Charlotte to NJ and stopping to see schools. My mom literally said to me yesterday, "well, we're going to go to Chapel Hill because your sister wants to look at UNC. And then we're going to go drive through Duke and laugh at people". I guess I'll have to bite my tongue and not mention my loyalty to the Tar Heels for the next two years.
We spent the afternoon going through the teacher evaluation process, learning about the culture of the school and getting a tour from the executive board of the student council. Actually getting to meet some of the students was amazing. I know these are the students who are already involved, dedicated and invested but it was still amazing to see how much these kids loved their school and were really looking to be challenged. One girl even told me she wants to go to George Washington University in DC. Squeal!!
It was all a little overwhelming, but it seems like the administration is going to be really great and helpful. I'm starting to get really pumped for the school year.
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Round Zero
I've been meaning to write this post for a couple of days now, but I keep getting distracted by some kind of project I have to do for Round Zero. Even now, I'm supposed to be working on a sample long term plan (because I don't actually know what grade I'll be teaching yet). This week has been kind of crazy with some unforeseen developments and some frustrating expectations.
To start off with, my roommate found out on Tuesday that she didn't pass the English II Praxis exam and, because of that, has to defer for a year. She's not the only one this has happened to either. Several people, including my institute co-lab and some of my friends, did not pass the Praxis and are being forced to defer for a year. One girl in the Charlotte corps quit her job with the top p.r. firm in DC to come do TFA. And now they can't/won't place her. Everyone in that position is pretty frustrated, understandably so. Especially because the state of North Carolina does not require you to pass the Praxis before you begin teaching. In NC you have three years after you start teaching to pass the exam. TFA is a two year commitment, which means we could all teach for two years and not have to ever take the exam. The passing of the Praxis is simply a TFA requirement and not one that is set by CMS. And that means those people can, legally, teach here in Charlotte. But TFA won't place them. But I digress.
My roommate isn't being placed this year.It was pretty surprising and nerve-wrecking, mainly because she was left with the question of how she was going to pay for her rent and afford to stay in Charlotte. Luckily she was able to get a job as an assistant manager at a high end retail store she used to work at and she's going to become a substitute teacher for the year. Honestly, she'll probably end up making more money than I do, which seems kind of ridiculous. That was Tuesday night.
Wednesday was the first day of Round Zero, which is the portion of your training that is focused on forming your big goal, your class vision and your long term plan for the year. We've had pretty long days (stating at 8:30 and getting out between 5:30 and 8) for the last four days. Including Saturday. And now I'm sitting in my room working on a sample long-term plan to submit to my Program Director (PD) to show that, when I do get my grade assignment and curriculum (hopefully tomorrow), I will be able to actually write one. It seems to be a bit of a waste of time, since everyone else is just jumping in feet first. I'd rather just wait until I know what I'm teaching, rather than create something that I may never use. Oh well.
The past few days, while drafting my goals and creating my plans, I've been struggling with this one concept. How do you not lower your expectations for your students, while still being realistic about where you will be able to go with them? Is it wrong for me to expect that they will not come into my class reading on grade level? Is it wrong to be realistic and assume that I will not be able to reach every single child, despite how hard I try? I don't want to lower my expectations. I want my students to be help to the same level that I was held to in high school. But, at the same time, is that naive and unrealistic.
In my perfect, idyllic vision of my classroom, my students sit quietly in their desks when I'm teaching, they do their homework every night and participate in class discussions. In this world, the students are actively engaged with the materials and I'm able to challenge them with work that is beyond our grade level. This vision has students that are dedicated and determined to succeed, not because I have promised them a pizza party or some other prize, but because they know that doing well in school is important for your future endeavors. Not surprisingly, my vision of a perfect classroom stems very much from my own high school experiences. Maybe not every single student in my school acted like this at all times, but this was the general norm throughout the student body. But, I went to a very small, private, all girls Catholic high school. We acted in that way because it was expected of us by our teachers, by our families and, at times, by the greater community. Its the kind of experience I want for my students, because being in that type of environment fostered a love of learning in me and helped prepare me for my future experiences. To what extent though, is it realistic for me to hope to see this in my students? And, if I'm being "realistic" in not holding them to this perfect standard, am I lowering my expectations? There is a fine line between being realistic and lowering expectations and I find myself stuck on the high wire trying not to fall off of either side. To mix metaphors, I feel like I'm caught between a rock and a hard place with no way of escaping unharmed. Good thing I have a pretty high pain tolerance.
To start off with, my roommate found out on Tuesday that she didn't pass the English II Praxis exam and, because of that, has to defer for a year. She's not the only one this has happened to either. Several people, including my institute co-lab and some of my friends, did not pass the Praxis and are being forced to defer for a year. One girl in the Charlotte corps quit her job with the top p.r. firm in DC to come do TFA. And now they can't/won't place her. Everyone in that position is pretty frustrated, understandably so. Especially because the state of North Carolina does not require you to pass the Praxis before you begin teaching. In NC you have three years after you start teaching to pass the exam. TFA is a two year commitment, which means we could all teach for two years and not have to ever take the exam. The passing of the Praxis is simply a TFA requirement and not one that is set by CMS. And that means those people can, legally, teach here in Charlotte. But TFA won't place them. But I digress.
My roommate isn't being placed this year.It was pretty surprising and nerve-wrecking, mainly because she was left with the question of how she was going to pay for her rent and afford to stay in Charlotte. Luckily she was able to get a job as an assistant manager at a high end retail store she used to work at and she's going to become a substitute teacher for the year. Honestly, she'll probably end up making more money than I do, which seems kind of ridiculous. That was Tuesday night.
Wednesday was the first day of Round Zero, which is the portion of your training that is focused on forming your big goal, your class vision and your long term plan for the year. We've had pretty long days (stating at 8:30 and getting out between 5:30 and 8) for the last four days. Including Saturday. And now I'm sitting in my room working on a sample long-term plan to submit to my Program Director (PD) to show that, when I do get my grade assignment and curriculum (hopefully tomorrow), I will be able to actually write one. It seems to be a bit of a waste of time, since everyone else is just jumping in feet first. I'd rather just wait until I know what I'm teaching, rather than create something that I may never use. Oh well.
The past few days, while drafting my goals and creating my plans, I've been struggling with this one concept. How do you not lower your expectations for your students, while still being realistic about where you will be able to go with them? Is it wrong for me to expect that they will not come into my class reading on grade level? Is it wrong to be realistic and assume that I will not be able to reach every single child, despite how hard I try? I don't want to lower my expectations. I want my students to be help to the same level that I was held to in high school. But, at the same time, is that naive and unrealistic.
In my perfect, idyllic vision of my classroom, my students sit quietly in their desks when I'm teaching, they do their homework every night and participate in class discussions. In this world, the students are actively engaged with the materials and I'm able to challenge them with work that is beyond our grade level. This vision has students that are dedicated and determined to succeed, not because I have promised them a pizza party or some other prize, but because they know that doing well in school is important for your future endeavors. Not surprisingly, my vision of a perfect classroom stems very much from my own high school experiences. Maybe not every single student in my school acted like this at all times, but this was the general norm throughout the student body. But, I went to a very small, private, all girls Catholic high school. We acted in that way because it was expected of us by our teachers, by our families and, at times, by the greater community. Its the kind of experience I want for my students, because being in that type of environment fostered a love of learning in me and helped prepare me for my future experiences. To what extent though, is it realistic for me to hope to see this in my students? And, if I'm being "realistic" in not holding them to this perfect standard, am I lowering my expectations? There is a fine line between being realistic and lowering expectations and I find myself stuck on the high wire trying not to fall off of either side. To mix metaphors, I feel like I'm caught between a rock and a hard place with no way of escaping unharmed. Good thing I have a pretty high pain tolerance.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
I'm a Big Kid Now
For such an important month, I know I've been severely lacking in the posting area. Although, I must say, I've done a better job than some people (cough Liz cough). But, for all the insanity that has come with the second half of July, it seems like its all starting to sink in and make sense. Its like I'm starting to be able to see myself living here. As opposed to some idealistic figment of my overactive imagination.
Right now, I'm sitting on my bed in my apartment, having just gotten back from hanging out with one of my friends at her new place. I spent the last 2.5 days unpacking, assembling furniture and getting situated in my new apartment. I've still got a long ways to go in terms of turning this place from an open apartment into something that resembles and inhabitable home. We need living room furniture (a couch, coffee table, tv stand, tv and some things for the walls), my mom is buying me a kitchen table when she comes to visit in two weeks and I need to get a bookcase and a few pictures to hang up. Hopefully, by mid-September, we'll be settled in and ready to go. At least, that my plan.
It's kind of frustrating, because I really just want the whole place to be set up and ready to go but I know it cant all be done in a day. I'm well aware off the phrase "Rome wasn't built in a day". I guess I just wish I had the money to get it all done now instead of having to wait a month to get it all situated. Plus, I found out yesterday that people in the Baltimore Corps are being paid $100/day during Round Zero (the training we complete in our region before school starts). Thats insane! It's like, a $1000. With that much money, my roommate and I could definitely finish off our apartment and have everything ready to go. I don't understand why we're not getting paid for Round Zero. There are fewer Charlotte members than there are in Baltimore. So if they're getting paid, why aren't we/ Although, maybe we are and we just don't know it yet. that would be so fantastic!!
Hey, I can dream. Can't I?
Right now, I'm sitting on my bed in my apartment, having just gotten back from hanging out with one of my friends at her new place. I spent the last 2.5 days unpacking, assembling furniture and getting situated in my new apartment. I've still got a long ways to go in terms of turning this place from an open apartment into something that resembles and inhabitable home. We need living room furniture (a couch, coffee table, tv stand, tv and some things for the walls), my mom is buying me a kitchen table when she comes to visit in two weeks and I need to get a bookcase and a few pictures to hang up. Hopefully, by mid-September, we'll be settled in and ready to go. At least, that my plan.
It's kind of frustrating, because I really just want the whole place to be set up and ready to go but I know it cant all be done in a day. I'm well aware off the phrase "Rome wasn't built in a day". I guess I just wish I had the money to get it all done now instead of having to wait a month to get it all situated. Plus, I found out yesterday that people in the Baltimore Corps are being paid $100/day during Round Zero (the training we complete in our region before school starts). Thats insane! It's like, a $1000. With that much money, my roommate and I could definitely finish off our apartment and have everything ready to go. I don't understand why we're not getting paid for Round Zero. There are fewer Charlotte members than there are in Baltimore. So if they're getting paid, why aren't we/ Although, maybe we are and we just don't know it yet. that would be so fantastic!!
Hey, I can dream. Can't I?
Monday, July 12, 2010
Lil Hunt
This is how my SD (school director) signs the emails that he sends to us:
"Cheers-
Lil' Hunt
School Director
Clarksdale High School
Clarksdale, MS
United States of America
North America
Northern Hemisphere
Earth
The Solar System
Second Spiral Arm to the Left
Milky Way Galaxy
The Local Group
The Universe
?"
He is an enigma.
"Cheers-
Lil' Hunt
School Director
Clarksdale High School
Clarksdale, MS
United States of America
North America
Northern Hemisphere
Earth
The Solar System
Second Spiral Arm to the Left
Milky Way Galaxy
The Local Group
The Universe
?"
He is an enigma.
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Boyle, MS
It's down to the last week here in Cleveland and, I must say, it is almost bittersweet. Don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled to be going home for a week and to be returning to civilization, but there are certain things about the Delta that I've come to enjoy. Like the people I've met at Institute who aren't in my region. Like the fact that I can go out to The Pickled Okra (yes, you read right. the Pickled Okra) and leave my bag on a table while I hang out/dance/drink and no one will touch it. Like the fact that everywhere we go, local people stop to talk to us about Teach for America and thank us for being here...the sense of community that these people have. Its very refreshing. Still, even considering all these things, I find myself counting the days until I can drive away and head back to North Carolina.
This past week was pretty good, all things considered. The kids took a while to get back into the swing of things after the long weekend. I never would have thought that a three day weekend could have such an effect on their ability to concentrate on Tuesday. It all came to a head on Wednesday when a kid got jumped in the morning and their was a huge fight in the lobby of the school. Two of our guy teachers got sucker punched trying to break it up and pull the kids apart. Apparently it had something to do with a gang related feud from over the weekend. It's kind of starling to think of some of our kids being in gangs. They're mostly 15 and 16 years old! So we've had to change our procedures for the morning, lunch and dismissal as a result. Its crazy to have to change everything this late in the game but it's completely necessary.
On Friday I went, for lack of a better term, on a pub crawl through Cleveland, MS. Mollie and I started at El Cabana where we met Liz and had frozen Margaritas that were comparable to Lauriol Plaza (in DC). We then went to the Warehouse, where my school team was having a happy hour. A ton of TFA people flooded the bar and we all had a good time. But they had last call at 10:00 (really pushing the late night here in the Delta) so everyone moved over to Backdraft. They were slightly more equipped to deal with so many people, and they stayed open until (gasp!) 11:30! We were all pretty tired at that point anyway. That whole up at 4:30 thing tends to do that to you.
Yesterday I went to Graceland with Mollie and then met Liz at Harrah's in Tunica. MS to go to the Paula Deen restaurant. Graceland was..... an experience. I'm not sure what I expected going in, but I think I forgot that the guy died in 1977 and, therefore, his house would be decorated like something from the 70s. Because that's what it is. Never mind the crazy, insane level of devotion that some people feel towards him. There is an eternal flame at his grave. I'm sorry, when did they move John F. Kennedy to Graceland? I missed that memo.
Today I went with Liz to Boyle. MS to take a picture in front of the sign. Not gonna lie, it was pretty freakin sweet. This afternoon my school team had a bbq at a local park by DSU. All I know is I went from saying "no, I don't want to play kickball. I'm just going to watch." to lying flat on my back, with a scraped leg and grass stained shorts, clutching the kickball in my hand thinking "how the hell did I get here?" It was like I was back in high school again for a hot second and everyone on my team thought it was pretty damn amazing that I caught every single ball that was kicked in my general direction, despite how close I was or how high it was kicked. Thats what four years as a starting, varsity goalkeeper will get you. And my parents spent a lot of money making sure I had cat-like reflexes and velcro hands. Needless to say, we won the game.
This past week was pretty good, all things considered. The kids took a while to get back into the swing of things after the long weekend. I never would have thought that a three day weekend could have such an effect on their ability to concentrate on Tuesday. It all came to a head on Wednesday when a kid got jumped in the morning and their was a huge fight in the lobby of the school. Two of our guy teachers got sucker punched trying to break it up and pull the kids apart. Apparently it had something to do with a gang related feud from over the weekend. It's kind of starling to think of some of our kids being in gangs. They're mostly 15 and 16 years old! So we've had to change our procedures for the morning, lunch and dismissal as a result. Its crazy to have to change everything this late in the game but it's completely necessary.
On Friday I went, for lack of a better term, on a pub crawl through Cleveland, MS. Mollie and I started at El Cabana where we met Liz and had frozen Margaritas that were comparable to Lauriol Plaza (in DC). We then went to the Warehouse, where my school team was having a happy hour. A ton of TFA people flooded the bar and we all had a good time. But they had last call at 10:00 (really pushing the late night here in the Delta) so everyone moved over to Backdraft. They were slightly more equipped to deal with so many people, and they stayed open until (gasp!) 11:30! We were all pretty tired at that point anyway. That whole up at 4:30 thing tends to do that to you.
Yesterday I went to Graceland with Mollie and then met Liz at Harrah's in Tunica. MS to go to the Paula Deen restaurant. Graceland was..... an experience. I'm not sure what I expected going in, but I think I forgot that the guy died in 1977 and, therefore, his house would be decorated like something from the 70s. Because that's what it is. Never mind the crazy, insane level of devotion that some people feel towards him. There is an eternal flame at his grave. I'm sorry, when did they move John F. Kennedy to Graceland? I missed that memo.
Tunica was really cool. The casinos are out over water because you can't gamble on land. I always think those are hysterical to see. Liz and I love our casinos and the Paula Deen buffet was amaaaaazing. Seriously, the cornbread casserole and Hoe Cakes were the greatest thing I'd ever eaten. We gambled for a hot second and then made our way back to Cleveland to go out for Mollie's birthday, which is today.
So now I'm settling in to do work for tomorrow's lesson and planning out the end of my week. Only 5 more days with the kids and then its back to Charlotte and on to New Jersey. God, I miss the glory and wonder that is the Garden State.
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Slippery Downhill Slope
When I started Institute, I told myself I wasn't going to let it change me. I knew TFA was trying to test every fiber of our beings and break us down so that they could mold us into the type of people they wanted us to be. I was prepared for that. I'm mentally tough. I could take it. I would leave the Delta the exact same person I was when I got there, with 5 more weeks worth of memories and knowledge. I was wrong.
As I sit at my desk on the verge of week 4, reading over blog posts of mine from finals week, senior week and Induction, I'm realizing that I'm not the same person I was when I got here last month. I'm very different. And I'm not entirely sure how I feel about that. That one line from that famous motivational saying keeps popping into my head... "if something tries to change you, let it". I suppose I should embrace the idea that this experience is going to change me. In the back of my mind I always knew it would.
Then I stop and think about the conversation I had with Liz at dinner tonight. We were recounting our July 4th weekends to each other (I went to New Orleans, she went to Memphis) and she was explaining to me that people got up at 8 a.m. this morning to start doing work, even though we don't have anything to hand in until Thursday. And then she was telling me about an SLA corps member who felt the need to go into her classroom on Saturdays during her first year, just so she could make sure everything was perfect. I don't want to be that person. That person has no life outside of work. So the two of us made a pact that we would 1. definitely go on our cross country road trip next summer, 2. call each other if we ever felt the need to go into school on a Saturday and 3. remember that it is possible to have a life outside of TFA and refuse to let it become our only existence. TFA is what I do and, for now at least, it is a part of who I am but that does not mean that I will let it become the only thing in my life. I'm going to stay in touch with my friends from school, do things that do not revolve around closing the achievement gap and not let every other joke I make be in reference to TFA.
Last night, after the fireworks ended, I was sitting on the steps of a gazebo on the edge of the Mississippi River in the French quarter, with a frozen daiquiri in my hand and a brass band playing a mash up of Kanye West and the Backstreet Boys. As I sat there, I started thinking of last year's 4th of July and how I spent it in DC with Liz, Erin and Nick. At that point, on that weekend, I was as content with my life as I ever could have hoped to be. If someone had come up to me last year, while I saw sitting on the Mall with Erin and Nick waiting for the fireworks, and asked me, "Kaitlyn Boyle, where will you be one year from now on the 4th of July?" I would have looked them in the eye and, without a moment's hesitation, said "I'll be right here. On the Mall with my friends, waiting for the fireworks." Never, in a hundred years, would I have said that I'd be in New Orleans with a daiquiri and a brass band. Not that it's a bad thing. It just nowhere close to where I thought I'd be.
I also realized something else last night. At some point, I will move back to the District. I'm learning more and more that it is the city I belong in... it's my second home. I may not get back there right away, and definitely have things I want to do before I arrive, but before I turn 30 I will have moved back there. Maybe it's my time in the Delta thats talking, and maybe I'll move to Charlotte in 2 weeks and love it more than I can describe, but DC is a part of me. This spring, I would drive to Tangy Sweet, or to the bank or to Costco and I'd catch glimpses of the Capitol and Dupont and I'd realize that, for all the trouble and aggravation it causes me, that city is my happy place. I say all the time that my happy place involves 2 palm trees, a beach, a pina colada and an ocean breeze. That is my happy place, in my fantasies. Bu DC is my real life happy place. Hot summers, bad traffic, poor snow removal and annoying text messages included. I'll take it all.
I guess this post has kind of turned into a bit of a stream-of-consciousness reflection on the past couple of weeks and how I've been feeling about them. It's probably time I start focusing this blog more on TFA related items but, to me, it has become so intertwined with my life that it isn't possible to distinguish the institution (the organization, not the training) from myself. And, in the end, I think thats exactly how Teach for America wants it to be.
As I sit at my desk on the verge of week 4, reading over blog posts of mine from finals week, senior week and Induction, I'm realizing that I'm not the same person I was when I got here last month. I'm very different. And I'm not entirely sure how I feel about that. That one line from that famous motivational saying keeps popping into my head... "if something tries to change you, let it". I suppose I should embrace the idea that this experience is going to change me. In the back of my mind I always knew it would.
Then I stop and think about the conversation I had with Liz at dinner tonight. We were recounting our July 4th weekends to each other (I went to New Orleans, she went to Memphis) and she was explaining to me that people got up at 8 a.m. this morning to start doing work, even though we don't have anything to hand in until Thursday. And then she was telling me about an SLA corps member who felt the need to go into her classroom on Saturdays during her first year, just so she could make sure everything was perfect. I don't want to be that person. That person has no life outside of work. So the two of us made a pact that we would 1. definitely go on our cross country road trip next summer, 2. call each other if we ever felt the need to go into school on a Saturday and 3. remember that it is possible to have a life outside of TFA and refuse to let it become our only existence. TFA is what I do and, for now at least, it is a part of who I am but that does not mean that I will let it become the only thing in my life. I'm going to stay in touch with my friends from school, do things that do not revolve around closing the achievement gap and not let every other joke I make be in reference to TFA.
Last night, after the fireworks ended, I was sitting on the steps of a gazebo on the edge of the Mississippi River in the French quarter, with a frozen daiquiri in my hand and a brass band playing a mash up of Kanye West and the Backstreet Boys. As I sat there, I started thinking of last year's 4th of July and how I spent it in DC with Liz, Erin and Nick. At that point, on that weekend, I was as content with my life as I ever could have hoped to be. If someone had come up to me last year, while I saw sitting on the Mall with Erin and Nick waiting for the fireworks, and asked me, "Kaitlyn Boyle, where will you be one year from now on the 4th of July?" I would have looked them in the eye and, without a moment's hesitation, said "I'll be right here. On the Mall with my friends, waiting for the fireworks." Never, in a hundred years, would I have said that I'd be in New Orleans with a daiquiri and a brass band. Not that it's a bad thing. It just nowhere close to where I thought I'd be.
I also realized something else last night. At some point, I will move back to the District. I'm learning more and more that it is the city I belong in... it's my second home. I may not get back there right away, and definitely have things I want to do before I arrive, but before I turn 30 I will have moved back there. Maybe it's my time in the Delta thats talking, and maybe I'll move to Charlotte in 2 weeks and love it more than I can describe, but DC is a part of me. This spring, I would drive to Tangy Sweet, or to the bank or to Costco and I'd catch glimpses of the Capitol and Dupont and I'd realize that, for all the trouble and aggravation it causes me, that city is my happy place. I say all the time that my happy place involves 2 palm trees, a beach, a pina colada and an ocean breeze. That is my happy place, in my fantasies. Bu DC is my real life happy place. Hot summers, bad traffic, poor snow removal and annoying text messages included. I'll take it all.
I guess this post has kind of turned into a bit of a stream-of-consciousness reflection on the past couple of weeks and how I've been feeling about them. It's probably time I start focusing this blog more on TFA related items but, to me, it has become so intertwined with my life that it isn't possible to distinguish the institution (the organization, not the training) from myself. And, in the end, I think thats exactly how Teach for America wants it to be.
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Government Conspiracy
"If you were to drive on to Delta State's campus right now, you would think there is some kind of government conspiracy going on. People are just frantically copying and printing and everyone is dripping in sweat. And this school is doing little things to slowly drive us crazy. Like not turning on lights or randomly changing their hours. All I wanted today was a cup of coffee but the dinning hall had no mugs and no milk. Then, the coffee shop didn't open until 6 because it was open from 6-10 at night on Sundays." -my roommate on the phone with her boyfriend.
She's right. Everything this school and TFA is doing is designed to try and drive us nuts and test our mental toughness. And she just told me about how halfway through the day her co-labs realized that they were teaching active and passive voice in the opposite way of the Mississippi state standards. We died laughing for almost 10 minutes. it's not really funny. It's actually very tragic but we're so delirious that its hysterical.
We meet our kids tomorrow....
She's right. Everything this school and TFA is doing is designed to try and drive us nuts and test our mental toughness. And she just told me about how halfway through the day her co-labs realized that they were teaching active and passive voice in the opposite way of the Mississippi state standards. We died laughing for almost 10 minutes. it's not really funny. It's actually very tragic but we're so delirious that its hysterical.
We meet our kids tomorrow....
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Bug Spray and Blackouts
Two days down in the Delta. We've got our teaching assignments for the summer...I'm teaching a class called Delta Writing Project, which is an elective creative writing class that students are electing to take. So I'm not teaching a remedial class. I think its going to be a lot of fun, but also a lot of work. We already have lesson plans due on Thursday and our students show up on Monday. Talk about hitting the ground running.
Yesterday was an 18 hour day that began at 5:15, when some girl knocked my cup of coffee all over my white shirt and ended with a 3 hour long tour of the Delta State University campus and its resources. Halfway through the tour, the entire campus lost power....for two hours. Well, that was my breaking point for the day. My parents called and I took all my frustration out on my dad, which I felt bad about 20 minutes later. I think, instead of trying to summarize my thought on the first day of Institute, it would be better for me to copy and paste the email that I sent to my dad to apologize for freaking out at him and explain that I wasn't really on the ledge after day one. In my opinion, I wouldn't be able to better summarize my thoughts on the day and my impressions of the Delta. So I won't try to. Instead, I'll leave you with this email that was sent after we got our power back around 9:45 (after it had been out for almost 2 hours).
Hey,
...btw, Wendy Kopp was amazing and incredibly inspirational, as was the State Sec. of Education, who gave a great speech.
Yesterday was an 18 hour day that began at 5:15, when some girl knocked my cup of coffee all over my white shirt and ended with a 3 hour long tour of the Delta State University campus and its resources. Halfway through the tour, the entire campus lost power....for two hours. Well, that was my breaking point for the day. My parents called and I took all my frustration out on my dad, which I felt bad about 20 minutes later. I think, instead of trying to summarize my thought on the first day of Institute, it would be better for me to copy and paste the email that I sent to my dad to apologize for freaking out at him and explain that I wasn't really on the ledge after day one. In my opinion, I wouldn't be able to better summarize my thoughts on the day and my impressions of the Delta. So I won't try to. Instead, I'll leave you with this email that was sent after we got our power back around 9:45 (after it had been out for almost 2 hours).
Hey,
We got our power back about 45 minutes ago and I just finished doing my work that I have due at 7:15 tomorrow. I was really hot and sweaty when I talked to you a while ago and we'd been walking around on a "tour of campus" in the pitch black for 2 hours. And that started after I had 15 minutes to scarf down some dinner because it took us an hour to get back from school, which we'd left for at 5:50. I'd reached my limit for the day.
In the grand scheme of things, today wasn't so bad. The whole day ran pretty smoothly and I got to meet the people who are going to be in my advisory group, which has about 10 corps members in it. There are a couple people from Charlotte, two from the Mississippi Delta and one from, I think, Eastern North Carolina. I also found out what I'm going to be teaching for the summer. I'm teaching a class called the "Delta Writing Project," which is an elective enrichment class on creative writing for high school students. I definitely lucked out with that because they don't guarantee you a place teaching your actual subject since the summer is about learning to teach and not learning content. So there are some high school English teachers who are teaching middle school reading and math or science. Plus, my class isn't going to be a remedial class with students who have failed the course already. It's solely an enrichment class, which I think could be fun. And everyone is assigned to teach with at least one collaborative teacher for the summer, another corps member from one of the regions here. My co-lab is from the Charlotte region, by chance, and I think we'll get along pretty well. Tomorrow night we have our official opening ceremony and Wendy Kopp, the founder and ceo of TFA, is coming to speak to us. That's going to be pretty awesome to see! We're all kind of hoping she'll sign copies of her book that we have.
Overall the Delta isn't so bad. Yes, its hot and unimaginably humid. And the mosquitoes are the biggest things I've ever seen. They're really more the size of small hummingbirds than they are insects. But it's not all bad. I'm not saying I'd want to live here (I could never handle that) but spending five weeks here won't be horrible. The community and the entire state of Mississippi is so invested in this Institute and in the corps members that are going to be moving here. It's really remarkable. Yesterday, the entire city of Cleveland came to campus to help out with registration and move in and tomorrow night the State Secretary of Education is coming to our welcoming ceremony. The Delta is the lowest performing region in the state, and Mississippi ranks 50th, nationally, in terms of education on a whole. So, to them, we're the best, if not the only, chance their kids have at a good education. It's kind of cool and incredibly humbling at the same time.
And, in terms of history, the Delta is fairly indescribable. One of the history professors on campus is a specialist in Delta history and moved down here to study it 10 years ago after teaching at George Mason for over 20 years. He's one of the country's leading experts on the region. He's offering to give a tour of the area to corps members on Saturday, where we'll spend the entire day driving around the region going to different historical sites and eventually have lunch at a restaurant owned by one of the senators from MS, who is going to be there to meet us. The tour is going to start at 9 and go until about 4, which is really long, but I definitely think its worth it. The history major in me is very excited about the whole thing. I know of a couple people who are going to do it and Liz said she was going to go too. And BB King is coming to campus next week and we can see him for $25. I'm not a huge fan of his (honestly, I don't think I've ever heard much of his music) but the opportunity to see him perform is definitely something I'm going to take advantage of. I mean, he's BB King and when else am I ever again going to have the chance to see him perform, especially in such a small venue? It's like passing up the chance to see Elvis.
We have off on Monday July 5th, and I think a bunch of Charlotte corps members are talking about going to New Orleans for the long weekend. It only about 5-6 hours away and we've got the 3 day weekend. So far, I know of three girls that I'm probably going to be specifically going with but we're going to try and finalize it tomorrow or the next day. We would have done it tonight, but there was the whole no power thing.
So, its going pretty well, all things considered. I'm sure its going to get much more intense in terms of the work load, but our nights also end much earlier after tomorrow. We'll be done around 5 or 6, which will give me time to go to the gym and de-stress and then spend time working on my lesson plans and what not. I definitely think its manageable as long as I stay on top of it, which I want to do because I need to be in bed by 10:30 so I can actually get some sleep.
I might talk to you guys tomorrow, but I'm only going to have about 40 minutes to get back to my room, change, eat dinner, buy my BB King ticket and get to my opening ceremony. I'm not sure what time it will end and I'll have work to do after. Maybe I'll just talk to you on Wednesday.
...btw, Wendy Kopp was amazing and incredibly inspirational, as was the State Sec. of Education, who gave a great speech.
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Delta Bound
Ever since I accepted my position with Teach for America, people have given me sad, pitying looks whenever I mentioned going to the Mississippi Delta for the summer. While I had my own reservations about going to a very rural area when I've never spent much time outside of the city, I was sure I'd be fine. Sure, its hot in the Delta. But I can handle heat. Ok, its humid there. But I went to school in DC, a city that was literally built on top of a swamp. Yes, it is very rural. But hey, there are 14,000 people in Cleveland and they need to live somewhere, right?
So, I mentally prepared myself for a summer similar to DC in weather and somewhat like a movie in terms of the town dynamics. I had this vision in my head, fueled by 22 years of watching films like Sweet Home Alabama, that Cleveland would be some sort of picturesque archetype of small town America. It would have one main street that would have a couple of restaurants, a bar or two and a local general store. Off of the main street, there would be 10 or 12 blocks of houses and a small school. The people would all know each other and wave as they drove past. The town would be small, but I would find it quaint and charming and by the end of my five weeks, I'd have fallen in love with the area. I could not have been more wrong.
The word rural does not accurately describe the town of Cleveland. The word that should be used is isolated. There's nothing here. I mean nothing. Correction, there is a Walmart. Liz and I went this afternoon to get a few things and she was having some kind of panic attack about the next five weeks and being in the middle of nowhere. She grew up on a farm, in the middle of nowhere and she thinks this is bad. And it is more ungodly hot than I could have ever imagined. DC doesn't hold a candle to this place. Between the work, the strict eating schedule and the heat/constant sweating, we're all going to lose 15 lbs. I don't know how people live here with this heat all year.
All these things aside, I'm trying to stay optimistic about the next five weeks. I've very hesitant about the work load, especially after seeing the enormous manual that they handed us at check in today. B.B. King is going to be here next week and we have the opportunity to see him for only $20. Thats definitely something I would never have the chance to do anywhere else. Plus, its only five weeks. I'm going to take it one day at a time, learn as much as I can and I'm sure it will go by much faster than I ever imagined it would. Hopefully I won't have some kind of nervous breakdown before then, because right now I feel like it is a distinct possibility.
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