Carolina In My Mind

Right now, i'm sitting in my hotel room in Charlotte, trying to figure out how I got here. Figuratively, I mean. Teach for America is something I've talked about abstractly for so long that it's hard for me to realize that it's actually real. It was always something far off in the distance. When I talked about doing Teach for America it was "yea, this summer I have  to go to Charlotte and to Mississippi and then I move there". It was something that was happening later. But now its happening now and not at some later time. And in some ways I feel like the beginning of this, is also the official end of everything in my past. CUA, New Jersey, the person I used to be... its all behind me. I left it at home when I turned off of 5th Street yesterday and I left it in DC when I got on I-395 this morning.

I'm glad i got to spend last night in DC. A few people are still down there so I was able to crash with one of my friends and, even though his a.c. is broken and its 90 degrees (but I'm not complaining haha), we had a good time. Plus we were able to meet up with some other friends of ours. It was strange though be cause we went out and, instead of going to our usual bar and drinking excessively until last call, we went to a different bar, got a table and had 2 or 3 drinks each. We didn't stand around complaining about classes and talking with/about the other people from school. We talked about starting work, and the job market, and loans and car payments. Its amazing how much the last three weeks have started to change us. This morning I drove through CUA because it was on my way to the highway. And even though I was there three weeks ago, I could tell it was different. I came over the Taylor Street bridge and instantly looked up at my bedroom window in Opus. But the lot outside was filled with only a few cars and the street was empty. I drove through campus and no one was around. It wasn't the normal CUA. And it wasn't just the school. I drove up in a new car, filled with the things I needed to go start a new life in North Carolina. I felt like I was having dinner with an old best friend that I'd missed terribly, only to discover we no longer had anything in common. It solidified the reality that I'm no longer a college student. I think it was good that I got to take that drive.

So this morning I got breakfast with two friends and got on the road, with a coffee from the 7-11 by CUA and James Taylor's "Carolina In My Mind" playing on repeat. It took most of the day, but I got to Charlotte with relatively little trouble. I met two girls in the business center who were trying to print copies of their resume and they were both really nice. All three of of were saying the same things. We were convinced we'd show up and everyone would be high speed and that we'd have problems keeping up. Not that I don't think I'm smart. I know I am. But its just that sense of nervousness that you get when you start something so new and unfamiliar. It was reassuring to know that I wasn't the only person who felt that way. And it also reminded me that all of these people are going through the same thing as me. Three weeks ago they were having their own senior weeks and saying goodbye to friends. I think that somewhere in the back of my mind I had convinced myself that I was going to get here and everyone would be completely professional and mature and "adult" all the time and I'd be this strange person that wasn't quite ready for all the changes that were taking place. After talking with these girls though, it seems to me that they have the exact same outlook as me on this whole thing. I like that. Maybe I don't need to meet this with as many mixed emotions as I have been planning on.