Round Zero

I've been meaning to write this post for a couple of days now, but I keep getting distracted by some kind of project I have to do for Round Zero. Even now, I'm supposed to be working on a sample long term plan (because I don't actually know what grade I'll be teaching yet). This week has been kind of crazy with some unforeseen developments and some frustrating expectations.
To start off with, my roommate found out on Tuesday that she didn't pass the English II Praxis exam and, because of that, has to defer for a year. She's not the only one this has happened to either. Several people, including my institute co-lab and some of my friends, did not pass the Praxis and are being forced to defer for a year. One girl in the Charlotte corps quit her job with the top p.r. firm in DC to come do TFA. And now they can't/won't place her. Everyone in that position is pretty frustrated, understandably so. Especially because the state of North Carolina does not require you to pass the Praxis before you begin teaching. In NC you have three years after you start teaching to pass the exam. TFA is a two year commitment, which means we could all teach for two years and not have to ever take the exam. The passing of the Praxis is simply a TFA requirement and not one that is set by CMS. And that means those people can, legally, teach here in Charlotte. But TFA won't place them. But I digress.
My roommate isn't being placed this year.It was pretty surprising and nerve-wrecking, mainly because she was left with the question of how she was going to pay for her rent and afford to stay in Charlotte. Luckily she was able to get a job as an assistant manager at a high end retail store she used to work at and she's going to become a substitute teacher for the year. Honestly, she'll probably end up making more money than I do, which seems kind of ridiculous. That was Tuesday night.
Wednesday was the first day of Round Zero, which is the portion of your training that is focused on forming your big goal, your class vision and your long term plan for the year. We've had pretty long days (stating at 8:30 and getting out between 5:30 and 8) for the last four days. Including Saturday. And now I'm sitting in my room working on a sample long-term plan to submit to my Program Director (PD) to show that, when I do get my grade assignment and curriculum (hopefully tomorrow), I will be able to actually write one. It seems to be a bit of a waste of time, since everyone else is just jumping in feet first. I'd rather just wait until I know what I'm teaching, rather than create something that I may never use. Oh well.
The past few days, while drafting my goals and creating my plans, I've been struggling with this one concept. How do you not lower your expectations for your students, while still being realistic about where you will be able to go with them? Is it wrong for me to expect that they will not come into my class reading on grade level? Is it wrong to be realistic and assume that I will not be able to reach every single child, despite how hard I try? I don't want to lower my expectations. I want my students to be help to the same level that I was held to in high school. But, at the same time, is that naive and unrealistic.
In my perfect, idyllic vision of my classroom, my students sit quietly in their desks when I'm teaching, they do their homework every night and participate in class discussions. In this world, the students are actively engaged with the materials and I'm able to challenge them with work that is beyond our grade level. This vision has students that are dedicated and determined to succeed, not because I have promised them a pizza party or some other prize, but because they know that doing well in school is important for your future endeavors. Not surprisingly, my vision of a perfect classroom stems very much from my own high school experiences. Maybe not every single student in my school acted like this at all times, but this was the general norm throughout the student body. But, I went to a very small, private, all girls Catholic high school. We acted in that way because it was expected of us by our teachers, by our families and, at times, by the greater community. Its the kind of experience I want for my students, because being in that type of environment fostered a love of learning in me and helped prepare me for my future experiences. To what extent though, is it realistic for me to hope to see this in my students? And, if I'm being "realistic" in not holding them to this perfect standard, am I lowering my expectations? There is a fine line between being realistic and lowering expectations and I find myself stuck on the high wire trying not to fall off of either side. To mix metaphors, I feel like I'm caught between a rock and a hard place with no way of escaping unharmed. Good thing I have a pretty high pain tolerance.